Hi Guys (no gender is inferred in this greeting!),
With Monzo celebrating pride with logo changes etc and the excellent piece written in teams by Brad Corrigan - can we FINALLY get a rainbow card please?
I suggested it as an option for Monzo plus, which was well received, how about giving us our rainbow please
I take some issue with this, especially where you call it easy. It stems from my experience with autism. For me, remembering that please and thank you matter for instance is already a taxing enough task for my brain, and I can sometimes still forget, only to have eventually processed it 5 minutes later and feel all embarrassed and even more anxious. These kind of gender inclusive requests to alter the language we use take this to another level, and for me, I would have to retrain myself to forget some social cues I’ve spent years trying to learn and start over with these new ones. I don’t think it’s necessarily easy for neurotypicals either, as it forces them to have to process stuff in that same conscious way, at least initially.
I personally don’t understand why people take issue or offence with words that in modern society have never been intended to be used in derogatory ways. I’d be curious to learn from those people who do, why they do, so I can better understand it from their perspective, because it just makes no sense to me.
I’ll end my input on that there, as it’s something I could discuss at much greater depth, but this isn’t the topic for that.
I wasn’t taking issues nor offence. And I know that remembering these things is additional tasks for our brains but a lot of that thinking (it’s hard!) is surely from a place of privilege. Of course those who are already under additional cognitive load - the autistic as you mention as one example - will struggle. I get that too.
So I shouldn’t have said it was ‘easy’. But, on the flip side as @Revels points out the OP clearly was aware of their choice of words as they called themselves on it, so for the OP it should be an easy change.
And @Eclat01 I’m sure you meant it humorously and I really wasn’t meaning to make it a big deal but, again the flip side of that is the ‘it’s just a word/banter/joke’ is used far too often by the unaware (not saying you are unaware!).
I wouldn’t be so sure about that. It’s a very very subtle way of confirming bias, the use of language, just as it’s then as easy to laugh off as ‘just a phrase’. A young girl growing up hearing ‘guys’ all the times is gently reminded that she’s not REALLY part of the group, she should be LUCKY she’s there at all, right? Cos this is about ‘guys’… sorry, total bugbear this one, but language is so so tricky and not paid enough attention to.
And yes, I’ve said these things myself.
BTW - gender inclusive requests are as simple as referring to ‘they’ or ‘them’. “Ohh they’ve forgotten their sunglasses”. Might be easier to refer to everyone that way rather than guess?
This is something I always consciously try to do, especially when I’m unsure of someone’s gender. It can be hard work for my brain to keep up sometimes though, and I’ll often end up using he/she without even thinking, and I would hope that people wouldn’t be so quick to feel offended at that.
Language is tricky and we’re always going to interpret different words differently to other people for a variety of reasons. And cognitive conditioning can be a very difficult thing to correct for. I personally don’t take offence at words others use towards me, unless it’s an obvious derogatory attack, and my hope is people afford me the same courtesy. I always try to assume ignorance or innocence before malice. I personally think that’s a healthier way of dealing the issue, though it’s hard to know if my thinking here comes from a place of privilege or perspective.
It’s interesting and illuminating to read other people’s thoughts on this though, and I appreciate people here sharing them respectfully. I fully sympathise with the point of it’s just a word/banter/joke used as an excuse for issues like this though, but as you say, this is such a tricky issue; where do you draw the lines, when does it go too far (in either direction), and when is benefit of the doubt appropriate?
Then, to be blunt, she will struggle with life. ‘Guys’ is well accepted as gender neutral in 2020 despite what people who are paid high salaries to tell us otherwise think. In fact it is those people who tell her that it is NOT gender neutral who plant the seed of doubt in her mind and start the problem! IMO.