Iāll second this. I applied for a Starling account on a Wednesday afternoon, deposited a cheque in the evening, and spent the money on the Friday. Since then, the turnaround time in my experience is one working day (they advertise it as being two working days).
If your friend is going to be getting weekly cheques, Monzo would best be seen as a spending money account.
What an absolute meme this is. That opening a competitors bank account is the best fix.
For sorting it for this individual by Friday, yes, it is their best option.
Because, when youāre hard up and taking whatever work you can get, beggars canāt be choosers.
And - apparently naively - he thought his bank might be on his side.
I think everyone should use the bank that best suits their needs. There isnāt, in my experience, a perfect bank, and certainly not a perfect bank for everyone.
Does ānot having the facility to handle cheques in personā == not on his side?
I get the situation is a tough one for OPās friend - absolutely, and I hope thereās a way that they can get supported to solve the timing issue theyāre experieincing.
But it seems this idea that the bank needs to implement any and all solutions to be seen as āon sideā is a crazy expectation.
Thanks @Revels
Yes there really literally is someone sat there waiting for the postman, itās the receptionist, the flashy expensive all glass corporate office has many of them just sat there for this exact purpose. 
I mentioned in my original question (if you read it), his rent is already 2 weeks late, and yes he has been told the door will stop working on Friday. I did mention I also loaned him the money. A cheque deposited today would clear by Friday, when he needs it.
I do invite you to get a job in a bar or maybe a sandwich shop, and see how different the world is for you. Yes you get paid by cheque (his first payment, or maybe they want to keep the money longer), no they didnāt have another way. Now do all that after being unemployed for 2 months, he is so thankful to even have this job at all.
I mentioned my length of service to say that my disappointment is not something to be taken lightly. After 5+ years of loyalty to Monzo from the start, there are photos of me at their launch party, to have held high hopes for them, itās been fatally dashed by the lack of effort to support someone in need. Today would have been the occasion for Monzo to say āyou know what, Iāll just enter this cheque for this guy manually, itās a crap time, and I can helpā, 5 years ago, they would have.
monzo does not seem to care about customers or employees anymore.
Weāve seen the repeated problems with them burying their chat in the help docs, dozens of reports of innocent peopleās money being illegitimately frozen by monzo and it taking the press to get the funds released, terrible phone support and the list goes on and on.
Horrific and disturbing glassdoor reviews also seem to be the norm with so many upvotes on these reviews as well: https://www.glassdoor.ie/Reviews/Employee-Review-Monzo-Bank-RVW33891608.htm
I know a lot of people crowdfunded, are friends or relatives with monzo employees, in particular Tomās relative who chops down any facts about monzo, but this is really sad to see. monzo would be best selling or closing down now.
This is your opinion.
Charming. How about keeping personal attacks to youself in future.
Oh hello, person who accused me of being childish on Friday
Just read that glassdoor review. It will really show you an insider view of monzo
Yes, I get all my opinions on a company from a glassdoor review. Doesnāt everyone? 
The receptionist processes the cheques?
He isnāt going to evict him for the sake of a few days. And I thought there was a COVID related law against this anyway?
Why would it? Monzo state 7 to 14 days? Sure, a few days of that will be post related, but not 12 of them.
You have no idea where I work.
Your disappointment is the same as being here 5 years or 5 minutes.
No they wouldnāt. You donāt speak directly to the teller do you?!
I do think itās a bit silly that you canāt leave an envelope with the cheque in with them, rather than make Royal Mail deliver it, but the rest of your rant is just semtantics.
There is no ālack of support for someone in needā, there is not understanding that things canāt just change because you need it to.
You mean, Glassdoor, that review site where people remain completely unbiased and fair at all times?!
The last bastion of truth and honesty.
Iād imagine for a regulated bank they need to follow a specific process to have an audit trail of data. From the post @mts shared above - it seems like they havenāt set it up yet.
Iād honeslty rather the bank turn down an in person cheque than potentially jeopordise their audit trail. What if the person who did take the cheque, out of process, lost it?
I imagine for a regulated bank processes like these are pretty important.
Sure I understand that, I guess weāre back to - whats the difference between a post delivered by hand and post delivered by a postal worker. Post really does arrive at the front desk, they then distribute it amongst the building, even in skyscrapers.
Iām surprised that they used to allow you to drop of cheques at their head office 
The general rule is that head offices are not customer facing so youād expect to be turned away for for anything that is unannounced.
I recall a guy on here last year who was shocked that he was turned away when he popped in to chat about his account.
Did Monzo refuse to accept it, or did the receptionist/security refuse to accept post for Monzo?
Theyāre relevant because the user has seen Mondo evolve from a small caring organisation to the Monzo of today, which apparently isnāt willing to make exceptions and actively avoids trying to give customers support.
Yes offices usually have a reception which can accept mail and courier deliveries and passes it on to the mail room. Thereās no reason Monzo couldnāt accept a cheque hand-delivered when they accept it with a stamp on it.
Iām another early user of Monzo. With all the staff leaving (the lead on open banking announced his departure the other day), and the lack of new features, I have concerns now about using it as my main bank, though Iāve been doing that happily for the last couple of years, Iām concerned that if I ever do run into an issue, the customer support will be on the level experienced by this customer. If they want to be the centre of peopleās financial life, they really need to step up and excel in customer support and product development, to stand apart from their competitors. Monzo used to be good at this, but theyāre IMO not any longer. Hopefully if they weather this crisis they can focus on that again.
Experiences like this, and insider reports like that glass door review above, make me wonder if Monzo will ever be the same again.