This week in the Monzo Office Slack: tea science

As some of you might know, at Monzo we mainly talk to each other on Slack. (Our December Open Office is actually all about this!)

One of the recurring features of our weekly company-wide All Hands meeting is that whoever’s hosting shares some highlights from the week on Slack. We thought it would be fun to bring the community in on that tradition too :relaxed:

So, in the spirit of a bit of Friday afternoon silliness, here’s one thing we were chatting about over the past week: :female_detective::tea: tea science, or, The Indelible Mystery of the Weird Tea at Finsbury Square :tea::male_detective:

It all started a couple Wednesdays ago on floor 5 when Tristan, a veteran black tea drinker, could no longer suppress his woes. He wanted to know the answer to the question that haunts us all: Am I alone?


It quickly turned out that no, he was not alone.


And so was born:


Possible suspects included strange teabags, a contaminated water source, and soapy mugs.

Lead investigator James confirmed, using only the most rigorous empirical methods, that it was the latter:


Though Paul wondered whether we had a supply issue:


(We don’t, unfortunately, have Yorkshire Tea in the London office.)

Richard, ever scrupulous, wanted to make sure there had been consistency in experimental tools: :spoon:


The final results of the investigation: it was the hard London water in the dishwasher with the limescale :potable_water::mount_fuji:


Tristan was ever grateful.


And that’s all, folks! Happy Friday.



Bring my own tea to London office. My problem was solved!

1 Like

This is excellent. I, however, will be disturbed for some time about this particular point:


Is it just me or anyone else think tea with milk is just horrible. Or black tea in general :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:


Measuring milk with a teaspoon? Thats just wrong




When I was younger and my grandparents took me to a tea room one time, I proudly ordered “Tea, Earl Grey, hot” (for reasons that should be obvious to most reading).

It turned out to be one of the most disappointing experiences of my life to that point :face_vomiting:


And when on the roadmap will this problem be resolved?!


If everyone sent some to the Monzo office we could solve this problem…


Can I also just add that I worry about the validity of this study. Where was the double-blind preference tests? Palate cleanse between samples?

I’ve been wondering how I can make my career in Food Science relevant for a job at Monzo, but I think I have found my way in.


I was practically weaned on tea, and my tea of choice hasn’t changed in all those many years. I know I get looked down on for my tea choices, it’s not fancy or owt, but I don’t care: PG Tips, medium strength, with milk and 1 sugar.

I plan on being one of those people that reach 100 and when asked how they managed it, I will insist it was the tea. And the gin.

Oh, and ALWAYS rinse out your cup before you start! Them’s the basics!

People still drink tea??

Everyone in my office up North drink coffee…

Erms. Black coffee only.

Tea takes too much effort for me!

1 Like

Definitely, @LifeofRiley! Love a good cuppa :tea:

We do love our coffee here too, though. I think we get ours from Pact, though I may be wrong.

I actually love a bit of Earl Grey, but I can see why you might have been in for a nasty surprise @HoldenCarver! :sweat_smile:

You’ll have to explain to me though the “obvious” reason for needing to order tea to come hot? :thinking:


It sounds like we could have used you during our experiments, Ben!

I’m on the case :running_woman:


I second this. I scoff at PG tips. Please get some proper tea in- Yorkshire Tea is where it’s at!


All other brands are for people afraid of the taste of tea.


It’s the whole phrase, and it’s all because of this TV show:

1 Like

I think we’re Ozone fuelled these days

1 Like

Try Barry’s tea. If there’s a people that know about tea, it’s the Irish.