Spots. Like pots, but they’re only available to the 16-18 age group, and once you get them you can’t get rid of them; they’ll just disappear overnight.
5 Likes
Bill’s Pot, the stoner companion to a bills pot. But only for Bill
2 Likes
Get Paid Surly. You get your wages early, but the app won’t be happy about it.
6 Likes
Park Mode where the app is in different shades of green and occasionally a duck swims past on top of the transaction drawer
3 Likes
Wet Paid Early. If it Rains you get paid.
Wet Maid Surly… I think thats a different app
3 Likes
It was only when Get Made Early was suggested, was he told to furrgeddaboutit.
1 Like
Pet paid early – your money is sent to your pets. If you don’t have pets you can nominate someone else’s
Met paid early – your money is sent to the Met Police
We give you dad jokes up front but you’ve got to come back to us with 3 more in a month’s time
1 Like
Tie in with Happy Days, rebrand as Fonzo. Theme tune plays when you open the app, sound of an incoming payment changed to Fonzie saying ayyyy.
7 Likes
This may turn out to be a strangely prescient prediction 
22 Likes
Interesting 
Never doubt the power of my crystal ball
6 Likes
“Siri, remind me to obsessively refresh the Monzo forum starting at 1.55pm.”
3 Likes
So does this mean we’ve got another hour of stupid guesses? 
2 Likes
Not if I use my new feature, Get Feature Early
8 Likes
You’re only just using it? I got it yesterday
3 Likes
Get Refunded Early
Made a purchase you regret? Can’t be bothered with the hassle of a chargeback?
Just type “Ctrl Z” into online chat and we’ll refund any purchases made in the last 24 hours"
2 Likes
At 2pm we’ll be told there are no updates today - then it’s clear whether there are any updates. Am I right?
2 Likes
Reminds me of the scene in IT Crowd
3 Likes
What’s Going Onzo?
Revolutionary new way of combining banking with a cutting edge calendar app.
Monzo acquisition target: https://airbridge.app/
7 Likes