New feature coming 👀

He didn’t say when they would release it, just that they would.

I feel like we’ve been tricked into providing ideas so they don’t have to attend a boring Monday morning meeting :pensive: :laughing:

14 Likes

These Monzo folk are just so dastardly.

3 Likes

CapturePots :tm:

Walk next to someone and if you can cover both their eyes before they see you and say “You’re now in my pot” you get all of their pots.

But as this is V1, they don’t consolidate, so after a few successful captures, you have 3,438,010 pots.

1 Like

When community members suggest fake features its “oooh haha that’s so funny” but when I do it it’s “why are you not paying attention in the meeting get back to work and stop slacking” :roll_eyes:

28 Likes

:smirk:

8 Likes

Quick, everyone, get the pitchforks!

Oh no I missed another sale opportunity! :sob:

Roman Numerals - We’ve just updated Monzo to replace numbers with roman numerals. Annoyed your bank balance of £10,000 won’t fit on the screen? Now it’s just X

13 Likes

And if you upgrade to Plus, you get it in binary!

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Get neighed early - a horse animation just before your pay

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Can we have Monzo plus today please and take my money :dollar:

1 Like

Temporary cards - you asked for virtual cards for security. Monzo will now deactivate and replace your physical card after every purchase, helping you to think hard before you spend anything.

2 Likes

Forget Loans introducing Groans. Instead of lending you Money we will take money from your account and charge you interest for doing so.

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How would Monzo’s UI react to having a balance of M̅M̅M̅M̅M̅M̅M̅M̅?

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Also suggested in that same meeting:

Get Weighed Early (for the fitness fanatics and dieters)
Get Trade Early (for business accounts)
Get Glade Early (for those who want a fresher smelling home?)
Get Maid Early (for those who have a cleaner)
Get “Hey”'d Early (for anyone who likes informal greetings)
Get Hay’d Early (to go with get Neighed early)
Get Spayed Early (for the responsible pet owners)

5 Likes

You missed Get Laid Early (for tinder fanatics not wanting the chat)

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Potholes

Overspent on your bills this month? Get an instant loan to cover the gap and tarmac you over until payday.

3 Likes

Well if we’re just doing dadjokes, let me give you my apalling thread from Feb:

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Quark Mode, where everything is made of cheese

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Freeze bills - stops all outgoings and links to both phone app (auto-forwards all predicted incoming calls from associated vendor(s) to voicemail) and email app (sends all emails from vendor(s) domain to junk)

Pain in the App - vibrates horrendously when a payment is made. Even harder when the phone is in your back pocket.

3 Likes