Useless - College/Work

General Chat
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Hi essentially due to the same extenuating circumstances around my money thread and wanting friction with savings, I also struggle with life generally.

NHS sucks, but let’s put this to one side. I am 17 & currently enrolled in a CS course, I have worked for 2 American companies and helped with maintaining dedicated servers and managing databases, custom email servers on Linux and keeping out of spam, stuff like that. (I have a reference also that mentions replying to customer tickets etc)

In my downtime, I have read about banking, also experiencing the phone tree of most banks with the silly kiddo accounts that are laden with restrictions.

I am disillusioned with college, have likely failed Unit 1 exam on Flowcharts and Pseudocode due to sheer anxiety and being unable to concentrate without focusing on trauma. Part of the lack of motivation, likely is not helped by knowing I am not being paid to be there, the environment is naff, we have a high turnover of lecturers, and I am likely not going to come out of it with much, and if I get the diploma, I imagine it won’t be so helpful outside of applying for uni, which is not my jazz.

Edit: in part due to turnover / poor environment & also MH issues and feeling odd on meds.

I have applied for 30 roles on Indeed, ranging from Contact Centre, in banking, insurance, telecoms and IT. I have a few interviews. This is the CV I wrote: Copy of Anonymised CV - Google Docs (anonymised)

I have put my DOB into a few of them… I am hoping it will not be an issue, given I’ve right to work 40 hours a week.

Technically you are supposed to be in FTE until Age 18, which is in 9 months for me. My course would end in september though.

I imagine I could totally get a job offer, sign it all, start, and withdraw, but are there any long term repercussions? I find it hard to think about the future regardless, but what’s stopping me from doing a 6 month stint at X place I have video interview for (I have passed several assessments and exams via Indeed with “very proficient”.) and then going back to another college for a 1 year IT course whilst I can have funding?

Edit: I think routine and the motivation to get out of bed, by getting paid to be there, and gaining experience for the CV is a plus to me, really.

You guys say what you mean, and are blunt, have at me.

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Go to student services in your college, they are used to dealing with anything and everything related to students anxieties, fears, MH etc. They’ll help you, they can suggest other ways of coping.

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I was in college at 17, doing a 2-year course after secondary high school and became increasingly disillusioned towards the end of the first year. So I started interviewing for jobs. In the interview for one job I really wanted, the MD of the company said 'Finish your college course successfully and I’ll give you a job."

One year and one diploma later, I got the job. I’m still with that company 4 decades later and since then… that extra year of academic effort was nothing compared to the career experience I’ve had thanks to that initial extra effort.

Stick at the academia - it helps in many ways. The biggest one is demonstrating that you are not a quitter. Being able to show your determination to succeed is a massive, massive positive.

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You’d think so, the pastoral guy ignored me originally via Chat, until I pushed again and got a one word answer, being that I could do it all again… I tried speaking to him physically, he related a little I felt & pushed me back toward the NHS.

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As much as in “ordinary” circumstances, I’d like to agree with you, it’s really bloody disheartening that, frankly is that the case with me?

Agreed, but not when you lack it.

Really sorry, I get that’s not the ideal response. But, thank you, truly. I will try stick it out.

Edit: to give context my emotional state varies hour by hour, remember the term take it day by day - ha? The advice I’d give anyone else would likely mirror yours, but I can’t give myself the same privilege.

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I feel incredibly stuck.
(Ultimately, in order to pass this college course with flying colours - I need more than just Alan Parsons Project & Mamas and the Papas (Elliott Smith & Nick Drake also good). Mental/emotional stability would be good, god knows if its psychological or inherited or both. Guess there’s also the fact I could do with the dough…

NHS experience has been high high high turnover and a lack of care.

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What qualification are you studying for at the moment? Btec diploma?

God that sounds dull

Nothing really. Might not look good on your CV that you’re chopping and changing jobs and courses.

If education isn’t working for you then there’s nothing wrong with dropping out to work and doing some certificates instead. You can go back to education later

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Focus on your mental health first. That’s the most important thing, once you’re feeling better then other things will be easier.

Maybe look at different certifications you can do from home or any sort of apprentice roles that exist? Stripping cat5 cable and installing windows is probably a bit below you but it would be a step in the right direction.

It’s only a small window to a person what they post, but across both your accounts on here you seem a very assured and confident young man who can articulate himself very well. So you’re already ahead of a lot of people your age!

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I find your CV confusing. It says you are a customer service professional but I can’t see any customer service on the CV, which is all technical roles.

You need to put the nature of the work ie full-time, part time (X hours a week), internship etc. As you won’t have done full time work yet, I wouldn’t call yourself a professional but instead say you are looking to start your career and have gained some experience while at school.

You have really great experience for someone who is 17, you should be able to get an entry level job or apprenticeship with that. It’s important you are in the right place mentally, though.

I do also think you may have to wait until 18 as I don’t know many companies who would hire someone full time who is legally required to be in education, unless it’s an apprenticeship

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dont ever call your self useless , no one is useless we all have tallent some where , as some one who has struggled with my mental health from about your age to being as some would see as ‘ancient’ in my mid 50s i can relate to some of the things your feeling amd for what its worth i drifted from job to job for a while , then at 35 had a mid life crisis and went back to education where i ended up with a post graduate certifcate in housing at the age of 40 , so have a think what you want to do not every one likes education in their early years ( i hated school)

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Yeah so it’s the BTEC L3 Computing diploma. I think the units get a little better as you go along, however the “principles” are f----ing dull. like you say.

I mean my plan would be, keep going until I (maybe) get an offer and it’s 100%, then withdraw and drop it from the CV…

I have been contemplating doing the CompTIA Fundamentals and then the A+ or whatever they’re calling them nowadays.

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See, that’s how I’d frame it in my head, but I don’t think that will ever improve. NHS mantra is to bang you on various SSRIs and pills for Insomnia. It doesn’t feel at all good, but at least I’m here… right?

Yes, step in the right direction, baby steps, day by day right… I ran CAT 6 throughout my house lol, completely useless, 5E was fine, but anyway.

Both?! What gave it away…? Shhh, wanted an anon start.

In person, confident and very assured is not my wheelhouse, unless you’re a Santander employee trying to say that my photo ID is of someone that looks like me, then I might speak up, lol.

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I might have used ChatGPT for that bit, I absolutely hate writing about myself as truly what is there to say, I am the run of the mill. The role I had at X place, which was remote and essentially whenever tickets were there, involved talking to client’s and so on, so I know how to deal with challenging people, (mute your microphone when venting frustration lol).

This might be a good plan here, out of desperation honestly I wrote that thing up in 15 minutes and went crazy on Indeed. Someone called it dull, (college course), it sucks.

Within the exam, I felt shaky and panicky as it all comes back to feeling that if I fail in anyway, my entire being is useless and I will end up on the streets. Fun.

I think that routine could be good for me, take a 6 month stint at X bank (they are mentioned on here a lot!), I have a video interview, it’s a 6 month contract and perhaps it’d give me a taste of the real world & be a nice routine to get into, whilst having the motivation knowing you’re earning money, to spend on Singha and Ice Cream :slight_smile:.

I could stick it out until September, was considering this, but then each day is different to the other (edit), and my mood changes so much throughout the day… It sucks to make any basic decision without a part of me then beating myself up for it.

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Please don’t take this the wrong way. We have spoken before, on another account, and I agree with you on many things. You remind me of my grandfather, probably got the same acquired taste in music.

I hated high school, given how it was essentially moulding you into being a compliant slave, and many of the people were on power trips and did not know how to talk to teenagers. (Edit: others were down to earth but generally not up for saying anything, understandable right) Somehow I scraped GCSEs, genuinely thought going into each and every one of them I’d failed it.

Danny, take care of yourself, and I would recommend a webchat called CALM, they also have a number, 0800 585858 if ever you feel blue/low.

Best wishes.

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Sidenote: I know (of & one more than the others) a few people that dropped out, w—ked away the next few months, THEN got a job. It’s not really enforced I don’t think. But there again, do I want a gap? Probably not.

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ha ha no offence taken , ive even bought my self a flat cap and have now aquired a taste for cardigans lmao

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do you know who sophie ellis bextor is lol? look up on youtube “sophie ellis bextor live at troxy club” it’ll blow your cap off. @dannymidd

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nah give me some scooter or some good hard rock like def lepard ive heard of this yoooo tube thing i will need to look it up on t’internet thing when i can get the batteries in my hearing aid charged up :smiley:

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tenor

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I fear you may dislike the average workplace even more

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