Good morning all.
We all know it’s a bit difficult out there at the moment and everyone could do with a laugh. So - drop your best joke!
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Wouldn’t be right for me not to start:
I can’t take my dog to the pond anymore - the ducks just won’t leave him alone.
Still, I guess that’s what I get for buying a pure bread dog…
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Today, my son asked “Can I have a book mark?” and I burst into tears. 11 years old and he still doesn’t know my name is Stuart.
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I don’t trust stairs. They’re always up to something.
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Had a horrible peak a boo accident recently.
Ended up in ICU
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Love that account
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That account is one of my faves too! It’s brilliant explaining those puns to my colleagues (all from outside the UK)
What did the policeman say to his belly?
You’re under a vest
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A weasel walks into a bar, the barman is shocked and tells the weasel “I’ve never served a weasel before, what can I get you?”
“Pop” goes the weasel.
A man walks into a bar and orders a drink. He notices that there are beef fillets hanging from the ceiling and asks the barman: “What’s that all about?”
The barman responds, “We’re doing an offer, if you can jump and touch these fillets, your meal and drinks are free for the evening, fancy a go?”
“No thanks” the man replies, “the steaks are too high”
Did you know that 6 out of 7 Dwarves are not happy?
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How do you spot a blind man at a nudist beach?
It’s not hard.
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But do you have a loionse for these jokes m8?
I went to the zoo recently and they only had one animal. It was a Shih Tzu.