It’s like a more detailed version of a Craig David song
I met this girl on Monday
Took her for a drink on Tuesday
We were Joint Account by Wed
And on Thursday we were paying by Hot Coral…
(Sorry, most people probably too young to get your reference @rat_au_van)
OMG - the Private Lounge is really a Thing. Complete with Coral Crew Karaoke!
Will the millionth user get a prize?
Yeah, an epic current account with a game changer bank
So it’s a little bit hard to measure who exactly is the millionth user… The internal metrics of open user accounts is actually slightly different to the number on the website. It’s not a particularly meaningful discrepancy and I’m not sure why exactly it is but nonetheless there is one.
Plus, no guarantee that the millionth user isn’t some kind of fraudster or someone that really knows what Monzo is or intends to use it much etc etc etc.
I think we’ll do some cool things to acknowledge it though!
So you’re saying I have a chance?
I’m guessing Tuesday evening at around 5pm.
Tuesday at 14:15
Thursday 20 September at 13:00.
On my way to see my friends who lived a couple blocks away from me (oh)
As I walked through the subway
It must have been about quarter past three
In front of me, stood a beautiful honey with a beautiful body
She asked me for the time
I said it’d cost her name, a six digit number and a date with me tomorrow at nine
Did she decline? No
Didn’t she mind? I don’t think so
Was it for real? Damn, sure
What was the deal? A pretty girl aged twenty-four
So was she keen? She couldn’t wait
Hot coral queen? Let me update
What did she say? She said she’d love to rendezvous
She asked me what we were gonna do
Said we’d open an account or two
I met her for a drink on Monday
Recommended Monzo to her on Tuesday
Her account card arrived by Wednesday
And we had a joint account by Thursday and Friday and Saturday…
My guess, 1 millionth user on Thursday at 11:43am
Let me just check my Monzo Growth Almanac I picked up in 2038…
Mon 986k (2k day)
Tues 989k (3k day)
Weds 993k (4K day)
Thurs 997k (4K day)
Fri 1million (3k day)
The millionth user activates her card at 21:31 on Friday 21st Sept 2018
Oh, why not? Friday 11:35am