How do you share money with your partner?

Hello,
First post here but reasonably frequent lurker!
This isn’t really a post for advice, more intrigued how people manage finances as a couple.
Partner and I live together. He owns the home (bought before we met) and pays mortgage, his name on deeds.
Whilst he pays mortgage I save the same amount in lifetime ISA for next mortgage (logic being if we didn’t work out, neither of us would lose out and wouldn’t have a stake in each other’s current/future property).
We discussed pros and cos of putting me on mortgage but then I would lose first time buyer status and lose out on 25% bonus.
Both contribute proportionately to bills, holidays, expenses, date night pot etc…
I earn ~50% more than partner and over the course of next 5-10 years will earn 2-3x more than him.
Both of us have savings separate to each other.
We hope to buy new property in ~5 years.

Now we have lived together for almost 2 years we have thought about pooling some of our assets (not all!). But neither of us have the traditional views of (for example) his parents where all money is in one account and shared regardless of who has earned it.

I am curious what others’ views are - and if there are any suggestions or tips from anyone!

Thanks.

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Hello and welcome!

I can’t comment on things related to home ownership because…well I live in the city and I’m not related to any millionaires…

However regarding managing finances as a couple. Me and my ex set up a Monzo Joint Account exactly for (some of) the reasons you described. Basically we would each pay in £X a month and use that account for every joint expense (from rent to bills to groceries to nights out etc.) Any savings/investments and each of our salaries (minus £X) was then totally separate and never actually discussed.

It was super easy to set this up and didn’t cost either of us anything. Worked really well for us.

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We are quite lucky that we live in the north!
Forgot to say we do have a joint monzo - very useful for all the reasons you said. Works very well.
It gets a bit grey when it comes to home improvements to which we both contribute.
We also don’t currently have any ‘joint’ savings other than a holiday pot which doesn’t stick around for long once it’s full enough!

I may have commented before on this somewhere else, but here’s our set up:
I moved in with my partner, she had lived in her place for a number of years before we met, so bills were already set up in her name.
We worked out more or less exactly what all costs (rent, utilities, food, etc) were, and I transfer half of that amount into her account every month.
Since we have been together we have added internet and mobile phones (yes been a long time lol) which I pay for.
Car is my responsibility.
Anything purchased for the house is split evenly.
Holiday savings account which we both pay the same amount into each month.
Personal savings, separate.
Any extra bits of food shopping, she pays for.
Pub, eating out, takeaway, etc I pay for.
We both have a rough idea of how much spare cash each other has, and if ever one of us needs a bit of cash, we just have to ask.
Worked for us for 30 odd years :grin:

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Exactly this for us too.

For example, I have a car that costs more than my partner’s as well as a motorbike so it would be unfair to ask her to pay towards that when she doesn’t use either. Doing it this way is so much simpler :raised_hands:

RE mortgage. When we pooled our resources to buy a house I had more than her. What we did was a ‘deed of trust’ so that basically says that if we sell the house she gets back what she put in and I get back what I put in and the rest is split 50/50.

This gives my partner the chance to chip away and match what I put in if she wants, which I believe she will be doing soon when she gets a bonus and promotion at work.

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Expensive car? :joy:

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Hahaha I best correct that :grimacing:

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Best correct it again. An apostrophe might help you avoid some strife.

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It was late at night :sob: all sorted now :weary:

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Echo the above, but we have our personal Monzo accounts and Monzo joint account.

We put the same amount in which covers food, bills etc and date nights. I earn about £15k more than my partner but we make it 50/50 when it comes to paying bills. We have pots for:

  1. Date night - £150 each
  2. food - £125 each
  3. bills - whatever that comes to
  4. whatever we are saving for (currently a wardrobe) which is also our round up pot.

Pot #4 - if I want to put in £50 one month and she doesn’t then that’s fine. If she puts £20 in and I put £5 that’s fine too.

We know then all bills are paid so if (like now) a dozen boxes turn up with make-up, clothes and whatever I don’t have to worry. Likewise if a brand new, shiny, MacBook turns up for me she doesn’t panic :wink:

We also pay into our own LISA‘s for a mortgage in about 3 years.

We find the above works best for us :slightly_smiling_face:

We agreed that if there is a substantial salary difference it would always remain 50/50 unless the person earning more volunteers paying more.

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I find this bit interesting. Does that not cause any sort of issues? Taking a stab at numbers, 25k vs 40k, that means you’re taking home probably £800 a month more?

My girlfriend is moving in with me before we buy a house together and I earn more than her, I think going 50/50 would be unfair. I’m splashing cash left right and charlie and she has less to spend because of paying half the bills.

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My girlfriend earns more than I do, but we go 50/50 on mortgage and bills.

We both chose this house and this life, so we both pay for it.

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I guess a part of it is the % the bills cost.

If you earn £100k and £130k, putting £2k a month for bills/holidays etc won’t really matter.

I was thinking more if you’re leaving one person “short” for fun spends for the sake of going 50/50.

Then you’ve picked the wrong house and you can’t afford it (as a couple) :slight_smile:

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Interesting - not sure how it would work going 50/50 for us especially if one partner earns significantly more than the other. May depend on how expensive each other’s lifestyle is too…! (mine more so than my partner’s).
We split proportionately based on take home pay.
Our pots per month are (total):
Food - £250
Date night - £150
Other - £100
Holiday - £200

We have a round up pot as well but haven’t decided what to spend this on yet!

Then our own Monzo accounts and bank accounts which are for whatever we wish.

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Not at all.

If I take home £2400 and my partner takes home £1400, do you think it’s fair to both put in £950 for bills/food etc?

Would £1200/700 not be fairer?

This is supposed to be someone you love, not a business transaction or with a random roommate. :man_shrugging:

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I didn’t say that at all.

Each couple are obviously different but for us we could have gone for a more expensive house where the split would be 70/30 but my partner wanted to pay her fair share and have equal ownership of our home. So we went for a house that we could both afford.

When we finish paying this off we can then look at a more expensive house and use the profits towards it :slight_smile: Who knows, circumstances could well have changed by then and the split will be different :man_shrugging:

I think it’s odd when strangers question others’ private living arrangements.

I think it’s odd when people don’t understand how a conversation works.

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At some point between my husband and I getting engaged and getting married, our finances were 100% merged.

His salary is paid into our Monzo joint account, as are 100% of my earnings after tax. Anything that isn’t precisely 50:50 is for tax efficiency reasons because he’s in a higher tax bracket than me. It works for us :woman_shrugging:t2: